Friday, August 15, 2008

Time Waster Of The Day

A little slow in the office today?
Click here and post your score in comments.
I got 17,287 on my first try...

Operation Baghadad Pups

Operation Baghdad Pups began with an email received on September 11, 2007. The desperate words of the U.S. soldier serving in Iraq told of his desire to get the dog, Charlie, he and his regiment had befriended out of the Middle East before their tour of duty ended.

Because it is against regulations for troops to befriend an animal or transport one on a military flight, the likelihood of the determined soldiers succeeding alone seemed doubtful. Members of this Army regiment discovered the dog earlier that summer while patrolling a dangerous neighborhood on the outskirts of Baghdad.
The malnourished and flea covered puppy, no bigger than a baked potato, was scooped up by a soldier who felt sorry for the pitiful orphan. Hidden in a tattered blanket, the puppy was snuck onto the Coalition Outpost. As the soldiers took turns secretly caring for the puppy the strong bond between man and dog grew.

“Taking care of Charlie gave me something to look forward to everyday,” one soldier explained. “When all the guys got to playing with him we forgot where we were, the horrible things we had seen, and what we still had to go through. Charlie definitely made our time in Iraq more bearable. He was like a welcomed piece of home right here in the midst of Baghdad.”

Abandoning Charlie in this war ravaged country, consumed in hatred and destruction, would have meant certain death for him. “We all made him a promise that we would not give up. We’d find a way somehow to get him to a better life in the states,” the soldier wrote in that first email.

Operation Baghdad Pups has now successfully rescued Charlie and other dogs befriended by our troops, out of Iraq and Afghanistan. However, the logistics of moving animals from a war zone to a new home are extremely complicated and expensive. To learn more click here to check out their website.


2008 Olympics

Are you like me? Do you have the Olympic Fever?
I didn't think I would be that interested in the games this time around but I have been staying up late to catch some gymnastics, badminton and swimming (apparently there's some American dude who's supposed to do pretty well).

I can't wait for Track and Field to begin. Thought you would enjoy some of these world class athletes displaying their skills:

New Office Vocabulary

Essential additions to the workplace for 2008 ~

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cubefarm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMS: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage). What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.
Thanks Nikki!

Meeting The Parents


Thanks Nikki!


Letterman At His Best

Remember when he used to get out from behind the desk and mess with people? A little long but great stuff...


Now On The Main Stage...

Here's your chance here to take a quick quiz and find out your stripper name. Come back and list your new name in the comments section below. (Mine's Bambi Turburble)

Friday Photobombs...

What's a photo bomb you ask?

Our friends over at List Of The Day explain it like this = People who hilariously ruin your nice little picture. Some call it "that guy" but we call it photobombing. Send yours in and they'll show up here:

OK's now up to you. Looks like weddings, social gatherings and vacations seem to be the best places to bomb some photos. Now get out there and make me proud!

Yummy Gummy Bears!

This one's been around for a while but it always makes me laugh out loud (that's right, I spelled it out. None of this LOL crap on this site!). Turn up your speakers and enjoy!


Thursday, August 7, 2008

New Sequel To 300 Coming Soon...

To a border state near you!


Some Special Gift Ideas

For that hard to shop for someone...

Country Countdown

Top Ten Country Songs:

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Been Missin' You...But My Aim's Improvin'

6. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country &Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

Bonus Buffalo Slayer Hit:

You Can't Drink All Day Unless You Start In The Morning

Slayer In Training

I am not sure if this is ironic, funny or just sad...looks like our crew when there's only one cold one left in the cooler!


They Better Get These Picked Up...

And back in that trailer for shipment. My supply is running dangerously low and I have a flight tomorrow!

Adult diapers litter Houston freeway, cause traffic troubles

HOUSTON – A tractor-trailer accident blocked the West Loop southbound ramp to the Katy Freeway inbound early Thursday morning. The trailer rolled on its side after the driver tried to maneuver a turn, reports from the scene indicate.

No one was seriously hurt, but the load of adult diapers that the driver was hauling was thrown on the freeway ramp. It took authorities several hours to clean up the mess and that caused traffic to back up for miles.

Link here.

The 2008 Olympics Kick Off Tomorrow

What is the big deal surrounding drugs or performance enhancing products to help the athletes perform better? I think SNL had it right when they proposed the "All Drug Olympics". What could go possibly wrong?


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

July's Slayer Event

July came and went and with it another fun filled Buffalo Slayer event! Special thanks to Karla and Gary for putting together a great day of fun and sun on Lake Pleasant! We had a good turnout and Gary even got to pull a few folks around on his new three man tube! The weather cooperated and only spike out at about 106!
For those of you who missed it, the photos below barely capture the fun that was had by all. Thanks again to Cat Nip and Especial~K for another memorable (from what I can remember) and fun event!
These should generate some comments...!

Solution For Building The Border Fence...

Build this theme park near the boarder and have the patrons do all the work! Where was something like this when I was a kid playing with my Tonka Trucks?

The UK's largest specialist excavator hire company, Diggerland welcomes you to four parks.

Diggerland guarantees a fun filled, exciting, action packed day out for kids and adults of all ages. Children (and adults if they wish) have the opportunity to ride in, and drive, different types of construction machinery including Dumper Trucks, Mini Diggers and Giant Diggers (all under strict supervision).

(BTW, that's "Diggerland" with a 'D'...Karla)

Go Green Team!

"Solar, wind power and knives..."

These guys are doing the lords work and we all own them a debit of gratitude. Grab a pen and paper and take some notes. This spells out how easy it truly is to do your part for Mother Earth.
Click here

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Set Your Phasers On Loser!

Another great report from our friend Triumph at Comic-Con last month...


Vegas Baby!

Full Disclosure

Dear Abby:

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time ‘working girl’. All things considered, my problem is this; I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for President?

Worried About My Reputation

Retards On The Loose...

I can only imagine the type of calls these 911 operators take on a daily basis. How great is it that this fool got arrested?

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) - Jacksonville police say Reginald Peterson needs to learn that 911 is not the appropriate place to complain that Subway left the sauce off a spicy Italian sandwich.

Police said the 42-year-old man dialed 911 twice last week so he could have his sub made correctly. The second call was to complain that officers weren't arriving fast enough.
Subway workers told police Peterson became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order. They locked him out of the store after he left to call police.

When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.


Monday, August 4, 2008

August Slayer Event!

Taking place Saturday, August 16th at
El Heffe and Nikki Franks' Casa
Last year's event, click pic to fully enjoy!
Yo Fellow Slayers! It is that time again for our monthly gathering & this month's is EXTRA special...Our fearless founder; 'Speak into my good eye' Johnson is celebrating his 41st birthday. As well as our amiga, Ms. 'Especial K' Karla Renne (age to remain anonymous).

Please join us for a a smokin' hot Buffalo BBQ Pool Party in honor of our Slayer group mixed in with some saucy birthday festivities. Food will be provided. You will need to bring your beverage(s) of choice, swimsuit, towel(s) and a lot stamina for long afternoon/evening of fun. RSVP by Wednesday, August 13. Questions? Call or Email Nicole. We hope to see you all! Until then Cheers!
These two are a pair of dedicated Slayers and know how to put together a fun and memorable event! Click here for the e-vite. Don't let your herd down...see you on the 16th!