Ironic Screen Shot Of The Day

Nice ad placement guys...

If you cannot read the headline I'll help you out ~ "Civil MLK Family Feud: Civil rights leader's children battle each other over estates". In the words of MLK himself, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character" way to go kids!

That Was Mighty White Of Them

Beijing takes dog off the menu for Olympics

BEIJING (Reuters) - Beijing has asked hotels and restaurants in the city to take dog meat off the menu for the duration of next month's Olympics and September's Paralympics. Dog is eaten not only by the large Korean community in China's capital but is also popular in Yunnan and Guizhou restaurants. A directive from the Beijing Food Safety Office issued last month ordered Olympic contractor hotels not to provide any dishes made with dog meat... Concerned that canine dishes might offend animal rights groups and Western visitors, Beijing said restaurants expected to be popular among foreign visitors must stop serving dog meat "to respect the dining customs of different countries."

~ Ya Think? WTF? Yea, I'm real anxious to travel to this country.

News From Home

Do they wear magic underwear?

Mormon crickets return to Idaho ~

BOISE - Warmer temperatures are causing Mormon crickets to resurface in Idaho. The Department of Agriculture says the crickets are on the move and that the cricket activity varies from year to year- so it’s hard to predict where the infestations will even occur. "In the last three weeks the big movement has happened since the warmer temperatures in June," said Dick Lawson, with the Department of Agriculture’s Mormon Cricket control division. Link Here

Sounds like they are arriving just in time:

New Twin Falls LDS temple set for opening ~

TWIN FALLS - After two years of construction, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Twin Falls area now have a new temple to attend. In just a few days the Twin Falls Temple will open to the public. Church members in Twin Falls say they are thrilled to have a house of worship so close to home. "It has a feeling I think that is tangible to many people,” Ann Guthrie with the Twin Falls Temple Committee said. “There's just a peace and a security." Link Here

Another Public Service

In an ongoing effort here at B.S.H.Q. to not only entertain and inform but to also educate, we submit to you the following:

COUPLES MATH

Smart man + smart woman = Romance

Smart man + dumb woman = Affair

Dumb man + smart woman = Marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = Pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = Profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = Production

Dumb boss + smart employee = Promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = Overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Another Comedian You May Not Have Heard Of...Yet

There will be some black screen at first but let it play...
(SFW)

Check out his website.

Thanks Nicole!

Interesting Opinion From One Hundred And One Years Ago

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907:

'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...there can be no divided allegiance here.

Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...we have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.' ~ Theodore Roosevelt 1907

From the Evil Klown

Who's That Girl?

Hey, remember the 80's?!

Can Someone Explain This To Me?

For those of you who may not know, I am one of those evil, planet destroying, self-absorbed and non caring SUV drivers. What can I say? I like my ride and I need something large enough to tow my carbon emitting, wicked, ozone killing boat. Now I am not going off on a rant here.

Many years ago I made the decision that there are several things I promised I would never complain about because THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I COULD DO TO CHANGE THEM. The weather was one, gas prices are another example.

OK, I get it, oil has gone up dramatically and apparently gas prices are at record levels (a story that was almost overlooked by the mainstream media). That is not my beef here. I filled up yesterday and took advantage of the “convenient” pay at the pump credit card swipe thingy. Here’s the question; has no one told the folks who program these pumps that the price has doubled?

The $50.00 limit was fine a year or so ago when you could fill up and hit that amount or be close enough. But come on, can we adjust this figure so I don’t have to ‘reload’ three freaking times just to top off?

OK, I got that out, please continue with whatever it was you were doing.

Time Waster Of The Day

Monkey Cliff Diving!
Click above stoopid...

Just Give It A Little More Gas Honey...

Almost there,just a nudge...perfect.

.

Hold On To Your Fu**ing Hat

One of the funniest from SNL

Suspect A Drug Problem In Your Hood?

Just light the place on fire...

SPOKANE, Wash. - Authorities say a methamphetamine lab was discovered in an apartment after authorities responded to a fire there. Authorities say the meth lab appears to have caused the fire. Link

BILLINGS, MT. - Police detectives said firefighters entered the home to put out the flames and discovered a marijuana grow operation in two bedrooms. Detectives confiscated nearly 50 marijuana plants and roughly $5,000 dollars worth of equipment including a humidifier, grow lights, and expensive fertilizers. Link

Another Reason Why I Love Living In Arizona

Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay. The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays and every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal and he has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of the prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.

The best part? His budget for the entire department is now less than $3 million per year. The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working but most would work for free just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals. You might to wonder when other states might take a look at the way he runs the jail system and copy some of his ideas.

He has a huge farm donated to the county years ago where inmates can work and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm which provides meat and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery where prisoners work and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays and plant it later.


Guess what...he was reelected in 2006 with 83% of the vote.

The ACLU are not fans of our boy Joe. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural that has a special hot line phone number on it where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hot line, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border.

For those of you who may not be familiar with Joe Arpaio, he is the Maricopa Arizona County Sheriff who keeps getting elected over and over. Here are a few reasons:

• Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "Tent City Jail": He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
• He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails, took away their weights and cut off all but "G" movies.
• He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
• Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination.
• He took away cable TV…Until he found out there was a Federal Court Order that required cable TV for jails so he hooked up the cable TV only to let in the Disney and Weather channels. When asked why the Weather Channel, he replied: "So they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs".
• He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't The Ritz...if you don't like it, don't come back".
• He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.
• When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place

More on the Arizona Sheriff:

The Associated Press reports about 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees Inside The Week Before. Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their PINK SOCKS. "It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the TENTS for 1 year. "It's inhumane".

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Way to go Sheriff Joe! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals need to be punished for their crimes. Does the guy have an ego, you bet but guess what, he gets shit done. Period.

Best Telemarketing Prank Ever

It's a little over 3 minutes but worth it, click below:

http://www.maniacworld.com/Best-Telemarketer-Prank-Ever.html

Thanks Nicole!

Have You Ever Been Drunk This Long?

Let's be careful out there people...

How To Drink With A Redneck Gal...

A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice."

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces and says, "In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either."

The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice."

How Not To Represnt Yourself

Just because the Constitution says you have the right to; it may not always be the best idea...

http://view.break.com/531358 - Watch more free videos

New Movies Out This Summer

If you liked 'School of Rock' here's the sequel:


Another one from the 'Back to the Future' franchise:


'Glen & Gary, Glen & Ross' (NSFW Language):


'Good Will Hunted':


Sequel to 'Cocktail':


And finally, the follow up to 'The Shining':

Memories Of George - Godspeed

GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES FOR 2008

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything t hat's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blond teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone...Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Mars Bar.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule (And this one is long overdue): No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell If he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'

And my own personal favorite regarding saving the planet:

NSFW (Language)


Thanks Nicole!

Happy Canada Day!