If You Believe That...

I've got a bridge I would like to sell you...

From the WTF files: The genius Governor of New York, David "Talk Into My Good Eye" Paterson has proposed the brilliant idea to sell off public roads, bridges and tunnels to close a massive budget deficit.

ALBANY - Warning of an approaching economic calamity, Gov. Paterson yesterday called an emergency session of the state Legislature - and raised the specter that New York may have to sell off roads, bridges and tunnels to close a massive budget deficit...the governor's five-minute speech offered few specific solutions to a three-year budget deficit.

The gap has ballooned to $26.2 billion from $21.5 billion - a whopping 22 percent increase - in just 90 days. Next year alone, the state expects to face a budget deficit of $6.4 billion, up from a projection in March of $5 billion.

Way to keep your "eye on the ball" there Gov! Can you honestly "look me in the eye" and tell me this is the solution you and your team came up with?

Full story here. Enjoy the headline!

Is Sheriff Joe Moonlighting For This Texas School District?

Do you think this will work? Based on little Jordan's comment below, it will start to become cool to be in the jumpsuit.

GONZALES, Texas. - A school in Texas will force students who don't follow the rules to wear prison-like jumpsuits in a controversial move this coming school year. Gonzales High School has new navy blue jumpsuits that students will wear if they break the dress code. Violators will be forced to wear the jumpsuit for the day, the report said.

A school board official said it's "worth a try" because it's a way to keep the district's conservative values intact.

Some students said the plan may backfire on the school. "I talked to some of my friends about it and they said they are not going to obey the dress code just so they can wear the jumpsuit," high school student Jordan Meredith.

Whole Story Here.

Wussy Wednesday Posting

OK...I got this from my mom and thought I would share it with my readers.

SFW

There are some sick puppies out there who posted some GREAT alternate endings on YouTube that I know most of my readers expected and I just had to share:

SFW

Redneck Revenge

What could be better? A loaded gun + curious wife + ornery husband = 1 week on the couch!

SFW

http://view.break.com/540967 - Watch more free videos

The Biggest Convention In San Diego...EVER

Can we take some of this nerd power and apply it to a few of our domestic problems? You know these guys could come up with an energy solution if we would just promise to get them laid. Holy shit...comic books on the cell phone? Where do I sign up?

SFW

A Pile Of Laundry...

On top of another pile of laundry:

A 44 year old women gave birth to her 18th child in Canada this month. That’s right, 18! If you are wondering what that looked like let me simulate by pushing this uncooked Cornish Game Hen through these grey drapes.

ABBOTSFORD, B.C. -- Alexandru Ionce and his wife never planned to have 18 children in 23 years but when they welcomed little Abigail Ionce into the world, that's just what happened.
Alexandru Ionce does not know if the couple will be having more children.
"We never planned how many children to have," he said. "We just let God guide our lives, you know, because we strongly believe life comes from God and that's the reason we did not stop the life.

A lesson for all you younger readers out there, if you let God into your lives make sure SOMEONE is wearing protection!

How Many Song Titles Can You Name?

Bonus points for the artist. List your score in comments...

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From GraphJam

Men In Training

Wal-Mart Twins

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't twins, the oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Wal Mart!"

Thanks Karla!

Finally Someone Pokes Fun At The Chosen One

Well...sort of:

SFW

Yet Another Reason To Love YouTube

This guy nails it...

SFW

Sweet Aunt Janice

Something tells me she may not be asked to sit for Billy any time soon.

SFW

Motivation Friday

Sad news today out of Pittsburgh about an amazing professor who was diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer in September 2006 died this morning.

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PITTSBURGH (AP) - Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon University computer scientist whose "last lecture" about facing terminal cancer became an Internet sensation and a best-selling book, died Friday. He was 47.

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"The lecture was for my kids, but if others are finding value in it, that is wonderful," Pausch wrote on his Web site. "But rest assured; I'm hardly unique." The book "The Last Lecture" leaped to the top of the nonfiction best-seller lists after its publication in April and remains there this week. Pausch said he dictated the book to Zaslow by cell phone, and Zaslow recalled Friday that he was "strong and funny" during their collaboration.

"It was the most fun 53 days of my life because it was like a performance," Zaslow told The Associated Press. "It was like getting 53 extra lectures." He recalled that Pausch became emotional when they worked on the last chapter, though, because that to him was the "end of the lecture, the book, his life." Full story here.

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If you haven't seen the lecture, do yourself a favor and take 10 minutes to watch this. Share with your family and friends. (Don't let Oprah throw you, watch it.)

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SFW

Something Different

I found these guys this morning in iTunes and downloaded four songs that I really like. I am always looking for a different sound or something creative with unique lyrics. Couldn't find an official video from the band but here's a taste from a fan on YouTube. The original video is no longer available so here's another one with The Simpsons.

May not be SFW = language

Another unique band that I've loved for years is No More Kings. The whole album is good and I am waiting for another release from them. Great mini-movie, tribute to the Karate Kid and the whole 80's:

SFW

Something For My Beijing Readers

We have a 70 pound Redbone Coonhound and she is a handful and we love her. I could only imagine having to pick up after a one of these beasts! The owner of the Chinese restaurant down the street wanted to know if he could find out where any of these guys lived.

"I feed whole town wit two or free of deez...you give it up now round eye!"

Thanks Karla!

Remeber When You Thought She Was Hot?

L.A. Story, Honeymoon in Vegas those were the days...

Poor Sarah...she has become the focus of a great deal of scrutiny from the press, found herself beat up in several men's magazines and even ended up on the top of Maxim's most un-sexy women list.

And now this. Can't a girl get a break in this city? Now quick, count to five with your hoof!

Amazing Test

Some of these are pretty long and make you jump through hoops to get the answer after you go through the whole thing. I found this "Cool Person Test" that only takes a few minutes and is amazingly accurate.

It's just for fun but click on Fonzie below and check it out. It should not take you more than 3 minutes and when you are done post your score in the comments section. Let's see who is the coolest Slayer out there!

Thanks Bits & Pieces

I Looked Up Biaach In The Dictionary

And found this:

SFW


Are her 15 seconds over yet?

That Had To Be One Hell Of A Swim!

HONOLULU ~ Federal officials said they netted 43 illegal aliens in an immigration raid on O`ahu. U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement Officers executed search warrants over the weekend at the Oasis Apartments complex in Waipahu.

Agents said the aliens were employed by a company called The Farms which does agricultural work. The 43 men were all citizens of Mexico.

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This story reminded me of the classic video below:

SFW

New Movie This August

Looks like someone finally did a film about our fellow Slayer, Keith! BTW, if you have not seen him play you need to do yourself a favor and check it out next time. I will find out when and where and post something soon.

New Magazine Out For Men

Full of tons of useful stuff for those of you men out there who are married or in a committed relationship. Just a few topics in the first issue:

~ Be your own boss (When she's not around)

~ Coping with the loss of friends

~ Dealing with the absence of sex

~ 10 new ways to sleep on the couch

~ How to get out of her family events

~ How to keep her happy without getting yelled at

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Thanks Chris

Rejected Campaign Posters We Can Believe In

Make your own here

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From Evil Klown

We're Not Laughing With You

We are laughing AT you!
Psychic medium, healer? You'd think he'd see this coming...



via Bits and Pieces

That's Right Jerky!

Blast from the past from the Jerky Boys...may not be safe for work!

Is That For Here...

Or to-go?

A Quick Lesson For The Fellas...

Nine (9) Words Women Use:

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission...Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'...that will bring on a 'whatever').

Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to 3.

This One's A Little Tricky

Take your time on this one. No fair looking anything up on Google or elsewhere. You have to do this on your own. Do you have the ability? Do you have the skill?

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View the photograph below and use logic to locate the clues that will help you...Find the Minnesotan!

Good luck:

How Many Of Me?

Check out this website below...put in your first and last name and it will tell you how many people in the U.S. have your same name. Post your results in the comments.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 8,167 people with the name Jason Johnson in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Ongoing Communication

An elderly couple who had both been married before had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.

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"I would like it infrequently" she replied.

He sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered..."Is that one word or two?"

In Case You Were Missing Them

The musical style of Tower of Power...

Sales Math

Love these guys or hate 'em...they have some great sales techniques that could help in your day to day efforts:

(SFW if you work for yourself or your boss is 14)

Buffalo Event This Saturday...

As you may be aware, the July Buffalo Slayers Event is taking place this Saturday the 19th. We here at HQ got a sneak peak at what Gary has rented for the event and it is in a word, impressive! Check it out below...

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Thanks Gary...we're all looking forward to a great day!